The Republic of Safe Island is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, daily referendums, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 222 million Safteyans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 30.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Safe Islandian economy, worth 12.2 trillion safe dollars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,096 safe dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Snap elections are called over every minor impasse, the studies of art and philosophy are banned, cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, and opposition party MPs campaign shirtless to show off their numerous lash scars. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Safe Island's national animal is the dolphin.

Safe Island is ranked 125,463^rd in the world and 999^th in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 533.43 pounds of wildlife per square mile.